You know, when — when families sit around the kitchen table, they say to themselves, what are the things we have to have? College education for our kids. Paying our mortgage. Getting the roof repaired. A new boiler.
A new boiler? Is that a word people use anymore? I haven't heard anyone refer to a "boiler" in my entire lifetime, save for perhaps some episodes of The Honeymooners or similar dated fare...
What next? A Mr. Burns-style outburst?
You there, fill it up with petroleum distillate, and re-vulcanize my tires, post-haste!
Or:
Burns: Yes, I'd like to send this letter to the Prussian consulate in Siam by aeromail. Am I too late for the 4:30 auto-gyro?
Kid: Uh, I better look in the manual.
Burns: [groans] Oh, the ignorance...
Of course, maybe Obama is looking towards the future - as this writer tells it, we'd save a lot more oil if only we all converted our home heating back to good old condensing boilers...which are great, I suppose, save for the fact they tend to blow up occasionally, while scalding any unlucky bystanders to death. Hope and change, I suppose...
Jeez, if you need me, I'll be at the malt shop in my two-tones....
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