Dear Slice: Frankie's Aussie Diaries: It's like a fake version of a designer bag, only the hipster version

Dear Slice,
After reading the recent "Hipsters are the new Jocks" MESH - (International Electro-rapper, Brooklyn, NY) and then following the link and reading the recent article by Ad busters (which you can read here) I thought 'Am I a Hipster?'
I couldn't decide my answer- if it was going to be a quite guilty nod or a full throated no (which would be full of an air of superiority because unlike everyone else I hadn't given into it.)
Before I made my decision, there were a few things to consider:

1. I own a bike.
2. I have a blog.
3. One side of my head is shaved.
4. I wear a denim shirt with black leggings.
5. I've met Mark Hunter.
6. Vice magazine was my hero from the age of 12.

So this put me at about 85% hipster. The last 15% was empty because of the absence of lo-fi pictures with analog cameras in my life. There were no Polaroid photos on my wall- nor were there Polaroid photos on my facebook. I was worried. How could I become a total 100% hipster without the photos. (And just an after thought- the fact that I was worried and consciously aware of this- adds at least another 10% to me being a hipster. As 50% of being a Hipster is thinking about being a hipster.)

I was too anxious to add those cool kids I met last night on facebook because I didn't have the goods to back up the meeting. I didn't have the photos. I avoided responding to their friend requests for a couple of days and then joy oh joy. I stumbled across Secret Hipster Heaven.

Poladroid is a program you can download free that lets you turn your ordinary photos in polaroid photos. Above is my friend's photo she turned into a polaroid using the program.

Obviously - in hipster reality- we would all like to have genuine polaroid photos but we have to realise this isn't always going to turn out. If we want to live the dream- we're going to have to make a few sacrifices along the way and I am ready and mature enough to make such decisions.

I've already got four new profile pictures and three new totally rad* friends.

Love Frankie
(who is currently 110% hipster)

xxx

*rad is hipster for cool. Not cool in the sense of obviously trying to be cool, cool in the sense of not trying to be cool, just naturally cool (but in this not trying, a lot of thinking and pondering and considering goes into it. So really just not trying in an obvious way to be cool , cool. )

Dear Slice: Frankie's Aussie Diaries: Frenemies?

Start Spreading The Word. That's what the invitation said. Start Spreading The Word. I pressed my eyes against the thick cardboard invitation and flipped it over. Dave's 21st, theme: Gangsters and Flappers. I dropped it on my bed and thought for a second. Ok so a translation of this would read an explosion of old private school kids crammped together in a marquee frosted tennis court. It would also read me coming into contact with a lot of people from school who I desperately avoided at all possible costs. They had such an effect on me, that even if I scrolled to their page on facebook it was enough to make me nauseous.

I'll be honest, part of the reason why I vanished from their weekend parties was the revelation of how sad it all was. Trust me, I'm not about to stand on a soap box with an outstretched arm commanding I was the only one to see the 'truth.' Instead I just quietly came to the conclusion that I didn't have to put up with the feeling of not enjoying yourself or the people around you. It's funny thinking that such a thought took so long to 'come to mind'. And the effect of such a revelation? Well I started doing things that I actually liked for a change, instead of just going along with others.

So, of course with all this swirling about in my mind- I was questioning whether I should 'start spreading the news.' On top of this- my departure with this school day scene when I started university meant I came into a clash with some school friends. It all happened suddenly- after a cut of communication I received in a space of about 10 min six abusive text messages regarding things I had said about someone a couple of years ago. The whole thing was rather magnificent in it's orchestration actually. Forget propaganda ministers, teenage girls with vendettas are like Goebbels on steroids.

Within a weekend, one girl had formed a battalion of six heavy Oestrogen hitters. The months following I became the subject of their analysis. I was constantly hearing back their
evaluation on my life. It's rather crude isn't it, that we believe we have the right to assess someone else's choices. In the end we're all as helpless as one another. Eventually, it fell to pieces and they found someone else to gauge.

I wondered, did I want to let myself wander in such a jungle? Weeks passed but with a slab of dutch courage I stepped through the doorway last night.

The night in point form:

-I sucked my pride - and dislike of them as people- and went for the smile and nice show. It wasn't too hard actually. Once you get over them as a person and just, well , let them be themselves without thinking how shallow they are, you sort of enjoy yourself. Everything becomes all about the surface but in an easy and perhaps even honest way.

-Reading what I just wrote- I guess I behaved before last night - in a manner exactly the same way as theirs. I mean really- who am I to look down on their french manicures and terrifyingly high pitched voice ways. It's annoying to be that person drunk on their own moral regardless of what you're judging.

-Once this was under way, I became the prodigal son of the group. No sooner was I chatting to them while they puffed away at their menthol cigarettes, to then being trust into the inner sanctium of being asked to come to the toilet with them. I leaned against the towel rack trying to not seem uncomfortable while my companion sat on the toilet seat - her stockings and underwear around her ankles - chatting in a voice which reminded me of a disney animal character. Yes it was rather surreal, it had been three years of bitter tension and now within a space of 45 mins I was in bathroom with her, watching her go to the toilet. Intimacy it seems, is not dependent on time.

Indeed I realised my ability to bullshit has not left me- despite private fears. The night proved it to be well in tact. I am a conversationalist on all topics, be them; boyfriends I've never met, families of boyfriend's I've never met, the dilemmas of facebook chat, whether lady gaga is a man, boyfriend's best friend's I've never met, boyfriend's best girl friends I've met, Rihanna's tattoos, Thailand, what to wear to Nick's fancy dress party, what's considered a slutty costume for a fancy dress party, what's considered slutty but classy slutty for a costume at a fancy dress party, whether that girl over there -finger pointed- has too much bronzer on, followed by- 'Do I have enough bronzer on?' And 'If not could I put some more bronzer on me.' Yes the topics were endless, but I navigated myself through deep waters which occupied their minds.

The night proved to be less strenuous than I expected. Perhaps a little more enjoyable. But certainly the crowd was everything to the last detail that I remembered.

Already I've had text messages of invitations to coffee/lunch next
week. Statements like "it's so good to have the old Frankie back,'' are a little worrying. I've arrived at a point I didn't expect. If I decline and allow the situation to fester back to what it was, it will be an unwelcome end. However if I continue to actively coffee/lunch/powerwalk them I'm putting myself back in the past that is equally unwelcome.

At the end of the day, it's just easier not to have enemies, but how far are you suppose to go to achieve this?

Till next time,

xxxF

Dear Slice: Frankie's Aussie Diaries: I may be Bipolar

HELLO,

So in light of being in one of those 'intense' moods - which has lasted at least one month - i'm taking a new outlook.

* I should add, when using the word intense with the word mood, i'm sounding like one of those Twilight fans who internalizes everything in the film and doesnt say alot but will just say one sentence which will be a variation of the following: Bella and Edward's relationship is just so intensly beautiful. I'm wondering if I've already lost you all. Basically I know this mood is such a cliche but I cant help it- so I thought I'd run with it.

But not in the same way as the last post. BAHAHAHAH, sorry that was a little awkward and out of hand, its been a bad month ya know?

Okay, so today has been one of those wierd, wierd days where everything keeps switching from being really okay and then totally not okay. Its strange. You keep having moments of severe clarity and strength and contentment and then somehow it all comes undone and you feel a wreck. It's strange experiencing such extreme emotions- and most would say its probably the symptom of being a manic depressent. Yes most would say that. In fact thats probably the most logical response, but logic has never been my pal.

So I am responding to such a day with the double list for it all being just the worst and completely the best.

All the things I liked about Today:
1. I had the ultimate playlist to listen to as I made my way to uni. I don't know how it happened- but you know when song choice and geography are so insync its INSANELY PERFECT. Basically what I mean by this, is as I looked out of the train - the perfect song was playing to match the landscape. It became FRANKIE'S SOUNDTRACK. I don't even know how it happened because the ipod was on shuffle. SCARY. But it was perfect and I enjoyed it so so much.
P.S You just know CFCF was all over my playlist. LOVE LOVE LOVE THOSE GUYS!!!!!

2. I ran into a friend who was eating blueberries AKA one of MY FAVOURITE FOODS - and I snacked with him and chatted while he scruffled my hair. I love it when people I like do that to me. But it can only be people I like. Otherwise if it isn't, I'll snarl like a bitch protecting her pups.

3. I sat next to the cutiest babe in my art history tutorial. Her name was Emiko and she laughed at all my gags. Plus her writing was so neat- I enjoyed watching her take notes.

4. I noticed an old dentist chair in the hard rubbish pile that I'm totally thinking of taking and putting it in my room. All the wires are exposed down the bottom of it, so you've got this drab grey chair with these brightly coloured wires sticking out. Its tops and I'm wondering what I could use it for besides just looking at it all day long because its pretty creepy but rad at the same time.

5. I went to the toilets at uni and for once there wasnt skid marks and urine all over the seat and floor. Yeah that was pretty nice.

All the things I didn't like about Today:
1. I ran into an old pal from school who hates me because she heard I'd said all these real nasty AKA BITHCY things about her. Truth, never said a thing. Reminded me of all those people we have around us who constantly just stab you in the back and lie and you never really sure why it all happens and how to control it. But yeah that sucked, because when you see people who hate you and think you're the worst sometimes thoughts like "well yeah maybe she's right, maybe I am just a total disgrace for a person" creep across your mind.

2. Well this has occupied my mind for the last month- being broken up . Unfortunately as I sat down to study and read all about art in France in 1789 certain songs came on which reminded me of everything, and well yeah nothing more really needs to be said. Actually one more thing, if you've got a broken heart listening to Yo La Tengo, Babyshambles, Bob Dylan, The Middle East, Lady of the Sunshine, Coldplay, Nina Simone and Angus and Julia Stone probably isnt the best idea. Woody Allen films make you laugh because it hurts so they're a good idea.

3. Leaving my wallet in my lecture room BUT then coming back an hour later and finding it lying there like a good cheaboiii. (this probs should be in both)

4. Thinking about my ex, feeling totally angry and hurt- so sending my friend ally a message saying and I quote "I fucking hate ___. I fucking hate him." then realising you accidentally sent it to him. Then thinking that you havent spoken in three weeks and this is the first thing you've said to him and realising how psycho you must sound and also embarrssed because it shows that youre still thinking about him and so that must come across as totally pathetic and so unattractive and therefore that little fantasy you had that you two would get back together will never happen because he has now realised how strange you really are. Let me tell you- there was no ultimate playlist on this trip.

5. Then getting a message from him saying - that was obviously for him, and then explaing to him that you don't hate him, you're just still hurt from the way he treated you. While you wrote that in a message and then waited for a reply you've lost any dignity left, while also realising you sound even more like a pathetic girl .

6. But then to get a reply which said "no its a fair judgment. I acted very dishonourbly I know that for sure," which I know should be a good feeling that he's acknowleding it- but at the same time it still leaves you feeling high and dry, and maybe it would be easier if he was just a dick so then you could hate him instead of him just being understanding. Its worse when people are nice, much worse.

7. But then (and actually this goes in the green column aka things i liked about today) telling my friend about everything that happened and us both laughing - somehow- about it all and thinking mid laugh that maybe everything will be ok, somehow, it just has to be.

xxx,
Frankie